February 2011
Anonymous asked: since you're on the subject...
sex music?
sex music?
“El-ahrairah, your people cannot rule the world, for I will not have it so. All...”
– Richard Adams, “Watership Down”
Cats Watching You Have Sex: The Tumblr
Don’t ask, just follow.
I have humbly submitted the following (memorable) image of Rory, captioned: “Let her go.”
Call Of The Wild, Jack London
Here’s the deal: there are a minimum of four coyotes living on the hillside above our house. We know, because their daily commute takes them past our deck twice a day.
Denali is beside himself. Denali is livid.
Denali wants to fuck. them. up.
Denali is fourteen and a half years old, and there’s only one of him.
So, every day, when we go for our walk, he does this Dog Agincourt...
Workout Music
jelizabethl:
Any suggestions?
No promises, but this is generally what keeps me going.
“Hot Soft Light,” “Sequestered In Memphis,” and “Your Little Hoodrat Friend,” by The Hold Steady
“5:15,” The Who
“I Feel Lucky,” Mary Chapin Carpenter
“Spirit In The Sky,” Norman Greenbaum (for lifting, not cardio)
“People...
Anonymous asked: Per your recent post, I am visiting NY this weekend and soliciting general recommendations as to what to do/eat/see. When I go for a weekend, I usually do the following: SoHo, cupcake places and a major museum (Met/MoMA/Whitney, etc.). So any recommendations that do not involve SoHo, cupcakes or major museums . Have you been to the Neue Galerie?
Things I should have learned by now
wisearoundtheclock:
Every time someone in my life tells me “Oh, I figured out who/what you remind me of!” nothing flattering will come of it.
This past summer, at my cousin’s wedding, an old man at my table followed that statement with “Marie Osmond.”
So, you know, I leap across the table and hold my steak knife to his throat until my husband pulls me off.
The Adoption Thing, As People Invariably Say "What...
Yeah, here’s my thing about that.
I do not think it’s universally the best choice. And this is because I think never having been born is a completely neutral thing.
Me, I have a wonderful life. I have a fantastic, supportive, warm, crazy family, and a nearly perfect husband, and nice pets. And a Kindle.
But if you presented me with The Big Three Options when I was in utero, it...
January 2011
The Proposed Reforms To The "No Taxpayer Funding...
I do not care why you want an abortion. You want an abortion? That’s good enough for me.
I am so happy to have my tax dollars pay for it. I would rather help a struggling young woman pay for an abortion than a) more unnecessary construction near my house, b) more subsidies for the corn and soybean industry, c) more studies on whether this abstinence thing is going to kick in, or d)...
A Question In "Dear Prudie" This Week
“I recently caught my Sunday school class off-guard when Hurricane Katrina was brought up, AGAIN! (*Sigh*) I made it known that I have no sympathy for anyone that lost homes, lives, loved-ones, etc., when Hurricane Katrina hit. My reasoning: 99 percent of those people made a CHOICE to live in an area that they knew was prone to hurricanes. Therefore, it was my opinion that I...
yamelmegames asked: Hmmm, a list of my favorite books.
well, some of my favorites are really quite random. I'm into anything, really, as long as it can keep my attention for a few hundred pages. I quite enjoyed:
A Million Little Pieces (slightly bummed to hear most of it was "false." Still intriguing, nonetheless)
Running With Scissors (Augusten Burroughs,...
well, some of my favorites are really quite random. I'm into anything, really, as long as it can keep my attention for a few hundred pages. I quite enjoyed:
A Million Little Pieces (slightly bummed to hear most of it was "false." Still intriguing, nonetheless)
Running With Scissors (Augusten Burroughs,...
New York City Date Suggestion
(This is what I always do with my friend Anna and her husband when I’m back in the city.)
Dinner: Casa
It’s this psycho-amazing Brazilian restaurant in the West Village. GODDAMNIT, THEY DELIVER. I live in Utah now. Gaaaaahhhh. Everything on the menu is the most delicious thing in the world.
After Dinner: Milk and Cookies
It’s literally one block away from Casa, and you...
Anonymous asked: a follow-up to the excellent discussion of unrequited love! what if the LOVEY love is unrequited, but the best-friend love, which has existed for far longer, is requited? also, we're both ladies.
anechka27 asked: i have just finished the 800th page of the salterton trilogy. loved it. anything else fun and lighthearted yet by a clever author that i should go read? thank you, dearest lazy!
The Highwayman, Alfred Noyes
For @justaturnofthedial.
Fuckin’ BESS, THE LANDLORD’S BLACK-EYED DAUGHTER.
Fuckin’ PLAITING A BLOOD-RED LOVE KNOT, INTO HER LONG BLACK HAIR.
Yeah. Yeah.
Also, if you try to remember the words, you WILL mistakenly graft in “The Raven” at some point. You totally will.
losertakesall asked: Hey Lazy! In honor of Valentine's Day, of which I am NOT a hater, what's the best literary love story?
Jude The Obscure, Thomas Hardy
Little-known fact:
Ted Hughes wasn’t actually a terrible unfaithful cruel husband; Sylvia Plath JUST READ “JUDE THE OBSCURE” AND THERE WAS NO SUN FOR A FEW DAYS, AND SHE SAID “FUCK IT, I’M OUT.”
Truth.
Obama's Open Support of Same-Sex Marriage In 1996
Yeah. This is the bullshit. This drives me crazy.
It’s not rocket science: Obama obviously has no ish with same-sex marriage. I actually do not think you can be, at this point in human history, a thoughtful and intellectual person who values consistency, and who opposes same-sex marriage. This is my actual belief.
And he did support it, in 1996.
No one changes their mind in that...
The Sunday Styles Wedding Announcement of...
So, obviously, I saw the headline, and thought: “Awwwwwww, gay WASPs! Adorbs!”
No, they’re straight WASPs. She (Wentworth) is just WASPier than you thought possible.
As a personal favour, please avoid any smack-talking in the replies (he’s a Republican Operative), as even though I find these announcements hilarious, I can’t imagine anything more awful than...
Casablanca
momomo:
One of the nice things that happened this weekend - my dad demonstrated that he knows all, or at least 90% of the lines in Casablanca. If ever a movie to memorize, right?
Also, it’s been about two years since Dad had major dental surgery, and he’s just recently worked out the way to grin without looking like a total psycho.
“Monsieur Rick, Monsieur Rick!” “I stick my neck out for...
Watching Dexter
Industrious Husband: Jesus, could Deb be MORE ANNOYING? She’s so spastic and needy and self-centered!
Lazy Reviewer: How are you married to me?
Industrious Husband: You’re better read.
Fear of Flying, Erica Jong
Oh, my God, I read this IN the library when I was about ten, and was all “Jesus, being a grown woman sounds fucking awful.”
I stand by my preteen critical assessment.
Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
I think that we tend to mistakenly lump this into the polemic category, which is generally fair for “Animal Farm,” but leaves us forgetting the absolute achievement of “1984” as one of the most (really!) beautiful novels of the 20th century.
If you haven’t read it since AP English, make it happen. And then read P.D. James’ “The Children of Men,”...
It Has Become Clear
I must watch “Downton Abbey.” But it has to wait, because we are about to start “The Thick Of It.”
nelinator asked: Does Industrious Husband read as much as you? I tend to get really put off by guys that say they don't read, or don't like to read. Just wandering if I'm the only one.
Dressage In The Fourth Dimension, Sherry Ackerman
Bella hasn’t been allowed to canter under saddle since October. She loves to run. And in my lesson on Friday, after a really good session, my trainer said:
“Pick up a posting trot. Now go sitting. Make sure she’s in your outside rein. Cue the canter.”
And I got SUCH A GRIN, and I moved my right calf back and gave her a nudge and she said “OH, SERIOUSLY? FOR...
You've All Read The Amazing Katie Baker Piece In... →
It's Not That I Don't Admire People With Really...
But no matter how neat they are, I still only care if a) they have Vicodin, and b) they have enough Vicodin that they won’t miss one.
ALSO, DO NOT HIDE YOUR TAMPONS OR TOILET PAPER. THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.
No living woman has ever said: “Oh, gross. A visible box of o.b.’s. They must menstruate.”
If I’m looking under your sink, it’s not for...
UM, THE BLACK FRANKENSTEIN SKETCH ON SNL LAST...
I am just watching it, and have read no Internet commentary yet, but I have to imagine the universal reaction MUST BE “holy shit, actually super offensive, and completely unfunny.”
I was already turned off by the fake ad for hormone therapy for transsexuals, which was all “HA THESE DUDES ARE UGLY AND WEARING DRESSES.”
Eisenberg adorable, and everything.
The Article About Friends With Benefits, Salon.com
1. Don’t do that. Leaving before breakfast will take a toll on your metabolism, anyway.
2. This guy sounds like a winner:
Tom, a 37-year-old teacher in Arizona, writes in an e-mail, “The only experience I’ve had with the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing is a woman who in her desperation to have a relationship with me, threw that option out there as a way...
yellowhat asked: Thank you so much for the heads up about when to look away in Black Swan. You're an eyeball-saver.
This Is Not A Blog In Which I Talk About What I...
Read Queenie Takes Manhattan for that!
Also, I only like food blogs which are “here is this DELICIOUS THING I ATE, and how you could make it!”
I do not like food blogs which are “this is just enough food to fuel my next workout, as Jesus intended.”
So, I feel OBLIGED TO SAY that, this morning, for breakfast, I had a cup of coffee with heavy whipping cream.
And then...
invertedreality asked: Thoughts/reviews on Ayn Rand?
Tender At The Bone: Growing Up At The Table, Ruth...
Lovely.
Also, buy “Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise.”
Also, “Insatiable,” by Gael Greene.
Then, buy a meal you can’t afford, enjoy it, and complete the evening by having awesome sex despite feeling kinda bloated and gross.
About Alice, Calvin Trillin
Everyone thinks Calvin Trillin is soooo adorable, with his folksy little pieces about barbecue and his nice wife in the New Yorker.
You will get no love from me, Calvin Trillin.
Don’t ask me why. Calvin Trillin knows why. He knows.
The Dying Animal, Philip Roth
This is the only Philip Roth novel I genuinely do not care for, and certainly the only Philip Roth novel I’ve ever thrown vigorously against a wall.
Everyone gets to phone one in, you know? Honestly, you give the world “Sabbath’s Theater,” and you should really get two.
I would still sleep with Philip Roth. Just once. For the good of American Arts And Letters.
And to...
WatchOkay, this one actually makes me cry, because this is when Denali wasn’t supposed to make it, and our nice vet let us spend the night with him in his cage so he wouldn’t get scared.
AND HE’S HEALTHY NOW, and everything.
WatchDenali, wracked by indecision. And cuteness.
Update: He decided to walk home. Then he rolled in the snow.
The Glass Castle, Jeanette Walls
JESUS CHRIST, people. Stop beating your children with Bibles and force-feeding them their congealed last-night’s-uneaten-dinner the next morning for breakfast, or one of two things will happen.
1. They will become twisted, miserable, unhappy people incapable of intimacy or trust.
2. They will be just fine, due to the shocking resiliency of human nature, but will write books about how...
The "Law And Order: SVU" Episode With Jeremy Irons
I mean, it’s good, and everything, but I picture the initial writers’ meeting as:
“Internet research shows that The People have demanded to see Elliott in a faded, sleeveless gray undershirt. How can we make that happen?”
“What if….we create a scenario in which we know the rapist has a cut on his forearm, and Elliott has to go undercover in a sex addiction...
theywhirlasunder asked: The protaganist of your favourite book has now been replaced with the ENTIRE Wu-Tang Clan.
How is it?
How is it?
ayayayayay asked: Love your blog, love your horse, love the LSIBR Theory of Cocaine and Heroin.
A while back, you suggested that we hock all our worldly possessions and subscribe to the New Yorker. I just got a job after six months of post-graduation misery, and figure I’ll be able to afford a few subscriptions soon. What else should I shell out for?
A while back, you suggested that we hock all our worldly possessions and subscribe to the New Yorker. I just got a job after six months of post-graduation misery, and figure I’ll be able to afford a few subscriptions soon. What else should I shell out for?
