July 2011
Today, in 'West Wing' Bit Part Trivia!
Paris Geller is Hoynes’ ex-aide that leaked the Leo drug records!
Holla!
Also, seeing Paris Geller always makes me happy.
And Ten Points To My Mom For This One
The Secretary of Agriculture on the first season of ‘West Wing’?
The mayor from ‘Buffy.’
Truth!
Boom!
The CIA Director on the first season of ‘West Wing’ is totes Betty Draper’s dead dad.
Yes, I Am Sure There Is Only One Baby In There.
No, really! One baby!
Yep, two and a half months left to go!
Hold still so I can beat you over the head with one of my massive breasts, please.
Thank you.
Always, The Answer Is The Same.
Q: Why does your hot chocolate taste so much better than mine? I buy the same kind!
A: Do you make yours with heavy whipping cream? No? That would be it.
IF You Are Not Reading Me Over At The Hairpin...
Which, sad, because the Hairpin is amazeballs, you may have missed this. Which is exactly what interacting with me in person is like right now.
Love you! Only at the Hairpin until the end of August, so you’ll be able to enjoy my undivided attention again in no time. Also, in the world of the Real, Non-Tumblr Internet, not everyone unconditionally loves and supports you all the time...
Your Momma Is So Old...
…that she still types it as thefacebook.com
True story.
Something I Was Just Talking About
If my baby is more than three days overdue (which first babies often are), she’ll be a Scorpio instead of a Libra, and what does that mean?? And if you induced early, could you possibly have a FAKE Libra baby, and then she spends her life in a state of astrological confusion??
I am only sort-of like a Virgo, but my horse is a complete Pisces.
This is the most embarrassing post I have...
lifetimeofstuff asked: dang, i saw you posted one person's quest for a book, maybe you can post mine? the book is an older book, i think, and i read it when i was in elementary school (i'm now 23). the cover is a girl in space, on a planet, in a pink spacesuit and i think there's a bubble on the moon that she lives in.
the book is about the teenage girl and trying to adjust to living in...
the book is about the teenage girl and trying to adjust to living in...
Listen Up, Girlfriend
Don’t you dare give the guy next to me on the train the side-eye for having his feet tucked under him on the seat.
Should he? No.
But he’s been quietly reading an extremely large Nelson Mandela biography and not bugging me for the last two hours, while you’ve been unsuccessfully trying to get everyone to agree with you that gay pride parades are a gross spectacle.
(Did I...
I Waste No Time Pondering Why French Women Don't...
…but I DO find myself angrily grumbling that the French would never fucking tolerate such a low-quality breakfast sandwich, airport kiosk or not-airport-kiosk.
The Birth Partner, Penny Simkin
At the request of our doula (God, where is my patchouli?) Industrious Husband is reading ‘The Birth Partner’ for the Kindle, despite the fact we have a physical copy of said august tome, which he claims is for ease of travel, not horrible embarrassment.
And the book talks a lot about trust, so I’m gonna just go with it.
Noticing a substantial uptick in solicitous behavior...
Then Came You, Jennifer Weiner
Burning through it. It’s very loosely inspired by the New York Times Magazine piece a few years back in which Alex K. talked about having a baby via a surrogate. (Would link, but on phone.)
She blends the perspectives of a college-age egg donor, a surrogate, an affluent infertile woman, and that woman’s stepdaughter, she creates sympathy for everyone, it’s really totally...
On My Way To The Final Harry Potter
And, as everyone around me was all ‘oh, we don’t need snaaaacks, I’m so full from dinnner,’ I may or may not have yelled ‘THIS IS THE LAST MOVIE AND I’M GETTING MOTHERFUCKING SWEDISH FISH.’
The Crimson Petal and the White, Michael Faber
It’s great! (Forty pages in, anyway.) Also, if you’re in a Mood, it’s helpful to be reminded that it would be much, much worse to be a 19th century sex worker than to be a 21st century lady-blogger.
Heat Is Bad For Your Hair
…and blow-outs are a waste of money, but that fifteen minutes of looking like Kate Middleton until you encounter humidity or pull a shirt over your head is…worth it.
Things Not To Say Aloud To The Person Next To You...
‘Five sugars in your small coffee? Who are you, Dolores Umbridge?’
Watching The First Season Of 'The West Wing' With...
…who has never seen it! Twenty minutes in? ‘This Mandy person has to go.’
Preach it, sister!
I Have No Idea What To Do With Google+
And I can’t bring myself to add anyone to my ‘acquaintance’ circle, because isn’t that just ‘we are not friends’? Can’t there be a ‘I enjoy reading your blog’ circle?
Update: Thank you for explaining unbelievably basic information to me. I am now enlightened!
Oh, and, Apologies.
Clearly blatantly resorting to ‘my ankles are huge and my nipples look freaky and I can no longer roll over without difficulty, so I’m going to post a bump picture on Tumblr so my followers can make me feel pretty.’
My First Public Statement On The Alison...
Oh, honestly, I loved it. Bettie Page plus “Community” for-evah.
I Always Love Shakesville.
…but I’ve found that my quality of life is through the roof since I stopped clicking on “This Is So The Worst Thing You’re Going To Read All Day.”
Sometimes you just don’t want to know.
Oh, But Here's Something I Didn't Post On The...
Lazy (trying to drain her cankles by inverting herself on the couch): ‘This is when you’re supposed to tell me I’ve never looked more beautiful.’
Industrious Husband: ‘You’ve never looked more beautiful!’
(thinks, furrows brow)
Industrious Husband: ‘I mean, except when you’re working out a lot.’
So Terrible.
Since I am in Canada AND on the Hairpin on weekdays, and on local rural Internet access, I have not been here at LSIBR and it makes me so sad!
Are you reading me at the Hairpin? Because otherwise you’re missing things! Except when I post about Morgellons, because you already know how I feel about Morgellons.
Trying To Leave House For Trip
Our dog: inconsolable
Our cat: furious that friend’s dog is sleeping over
Friend’s dog: wags politely as I leave bedroom
(Ten minutes later, I sneak back in to retrieve cellphone charger.)
Our dog: fast asleep on floor
Our cat: still furious
Friend’s dog: all 120 pounds of golden retriever has silently leapt into the bed and taken my place spooning Industrious Husband
Whoa.
I decided to take my as-yet-un-diapered diaper bag to an all-day horse show today, and…fuck this PURSE shit, man.
Lighter! Many compartments! My water bottle leaked, who cared?
It’s coming to Canada with me tomorrow, I can tell you that.
(Oh…I really hope this isn’t why people start to wear Crocs on a daily basis, and get horrible functional haircuts and vote for...
introvertedexcesses asked: Holy crap Lazy, I doubted you at first but I see now that you were totally, totally spot on about Neville Longbottom's hotness.
Betty Ford Has Died.
Which, love her, falls really firmly into that category of “people I assumed had died in the 1990s.”
RIP.
I Totally Forgot That The Mom From "7th Heaven" Is...
…and, obvi, the dad is in “Star Trek I: The Mostly-Shitty Motion Picture Lazy Still Loves.”
SyFy Is Showing ALL The Even-Numbered Star Trek...
And there’s the rest of my day. “Computer? Computer? A keyboard! How….quaint.”
Although, I have to say, I will miss “What does…God…want with a starship?”
Bring me some cheap Mexican food, we’re settling in.
God, This Is Nice.
I had been weighing myself daily to make sure the pregnancy weight was adhering to the correct lines in the bar graph, and was starting to get a liiiiiiittle too internally Dalek-sounding about it, so I just told my midwife to tell me if I started to gain substantially too much or too little, and am no longer stepping on the scale or looking at the numbers at checkups.
And it rocks.
SPOCK IS NOT EVEN REALLY DEAD AND I KNOW THIS AND...
That is all.
The Other Thing, Right, About The Wrath of Khan...
…is that it reminds you that super-cheap model-based special effects with fake plywood starships going BOOM still look better than CGI, 99% of the time.
“Wrath of Khan” looks GREAT. Seriously!
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
…why is it so awesome ALL THE TIME? Why am I incapable of flipping past it when it shows up on cable, three-quarters of the way through?
Why is Kirstie Alley actually terrible at being a Vulcan, and no one admits this?
RAGE.
My friend’s parents drove home to their farm in Montana from Salt Lake after coming up to spend the Fourth with us, to discover that one of their guard dogs (they have these amazing, loyal, fanatically-devoted-to-sheep-watching Great Pyrenees), “Freedom,” had been shot up by an unknown individual at least three times and left for dead.
Because Freedom is a righteous bitch, she...
"Modern Family" Is Trying To Recast Lily!
And I totally agree with Vulture:
“Lily’s adorable lack of interest in her surroundings made Cam and Mitchell’s high-octane parenting so much more hilarious.”
Things That Will Be Our Own Goddamn Fault If They...
…because, you know, the culture has given us plenty of warnings through teen speculative fiction and BBC fantasy serials:
Game shows where contestants are killed off for our amusement.
Zombies (the kind caused by medical experimentation, not the ‘when hell is full, the dead will walk the earth’ kind)
The robots rising up to overthrow us.
The dull, gray unitard look for all...
You Know What John Barrowman Looks Like?
A perfected version of Tom Cruise.
Taller, good teeth, better nose, out, the whole deal.
Unbelievably Liberating Thing I Just Did
Deleted all of Beck’s “Sea Change” from my iPod. Oh, it’s great. But it’s too goddamn depressing, and when it shuffles up after I’ve been bopping along happily to “Rock The Boat,” I nearly dislocate my shoulder trying to flip past it as quickly as possible.
raggedbutright asked: I'm sure I'm not the first person to ask, but what do you make of the Royal tour of Canada? Did I miss you talking about this?
Did You Know I'm Going To Canada For A Month?
I am! I leave on Sunday. You would miss me, except I blog exactly as much from Canada as I do here. More, because my mom cooks three meals and two to nine snacks a day for me when I’m in Canada, plus cups of tea.
(Jealous?)
So, I’ll still be splitting time between here and the Hairpin, plus Classic Trash at the Awl (Riders by Jilly Cooper next week!), so apart from the usual...
What I Talked About Today Over At The Hairpin.
Messed-up cloth diaper brand names!
Horrible abortion fiasco in Oregon!
Cursive!
Driving!
The Boston Herald blames you for drowning!
Getting drunk and buying puppies!
Things That Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
Buying hippie vegan nail polish to save my baby from real nail polish. I am a hot, chipped-out mess, about three hours in.
One Of Those Things About Not Living In A Real...
When you’re flipping through Allure, and they have those salon reviews? You can just keep on going, bitch, they ain’t got nothing to say about where to get a high-quality rare earth mineral facial in Sandy, UT.
I mean, I never got those in Manhattan, either, but I could have.
Casey Anthony Not Guilty In The World Of WTF?
I have not been talking about this case, because, you know, pointless media circus. But, I’m sorry, this is the bullshit.
Reasonable doubt in the no fucking way.
Wisdom For The Ages.
Have I ever shared with you my father’s classic piece of advice?
No one ever remembers the money they saved on a shitty hotel room or a bad meal.
Honest to God, it’s never steered me wrong.
A Death In White Bear Lake, Barry Siegel
This is a) a fantastic true crime read, and b) simultaneously the most depressing thing in the history of humans, so…read it? Or, don’t?
Lois Jurgens is still alive, and that viscerally upsets me. Not that I think the state should be killing people, I would just be happier to think of her…not being alive.
Those poor fucking kids. Hey, newsflash, if you want to obviously...
