I know it was you, Nichols. You broke my heart.– Something Richard Kimble COULD have said, in “The Fugitive.”
SO, "The Fugitive" Is On
Because I party HARD ON NEW YEAR’S WHAT WHAT, and, gosh, what a fun movie, you know? I love this movie. Richard Kimble is so awesome at being a successful fugitive in every single way except for NOT LOOKING UP WHEN PEOPLE SAY “RICHARD?” TO HIM when he’s trying to be all “I am not Richard Kimble.”
If Russell Brand and Katy Perry Can't Make It Work
…the rest of us should obviously just give up and learn to live a life of quiet solitude.
A Modest Proposal
Considering the prowess of modern dentistry and the stubborn caveman workings of the human metabolism, perhaps we, as a society, could replace the idiomatic expression ‘like pulling teeth’ with ‘like losing the baby weight.’ Just a thought.
Longreads: Edith Zimmerman: My Top 6 Longreads of... →
longreads: Edith Zimmerman is a writer and co-editor of The Hairpin. *** “All the Single Ladies,” Kate Bolick, The Atlantic Kate’s story on the current state of marriage, and men, and women, is sad and happy and fascinating, and just generally makes me want to give her a high-five and… Edith, being my spirit animal, yet again. All of these are great, I’m reading ‘The Medium...
One Of The Reasons Our Marriage Works
…is that we are the only two people in the world with such gargantuan egos as to infuriate all other partners. Case in point. Industrious: I cannot stand this useless loser kid in Tron: Legacy. With his fucking Ducati and his directionless rebellion and his entitlement. Lazy: Wait, weren’t you tooling around angrily on a motorcycle being pissy and rebellious and good-looking when...
I Finally Watched Tron: Legacy
Which was…not good. No, no, I mean, it looked fantastic, right, and DAFT PUNK ALWAYS YES, but it’s obviously no good. Good things: Michael Sheen and James Frain Jeff Bridges always being Jeff Bridges no matter what. Lights go ZOOM DAFT PUNK ALWAYS YES Bad things: CGI Jeff Bridges (it will look unbelievably worse in ten years, like everything else, even the stuff that looks...
I Can't Believe I Missed That
My family contains more than its fair share of good-natured stoners, now going back three generations. So, since there were so many people around for Christmas, a certain unnamed fifty-something matriarch had to break out her back-up pipe and actual wooden matches. ‘This is just like Little House on the Prairie!’ she said, happily. We’re a good lot, you know.
The Almost-Perfect Secular Christmas
Re-reading Shalom Auslander’s truly wonderful memoir, ‘Foreskin’s Lament,’ snuggling with baby and husband and domesticated mammals, eating an elk roast I found in the deep freezer with a suspiciously ‘2009’-looking date (in a fit of housewifery, I rearranged about four hundred pounds of frozen livestock and hunting booty by date) and gleefully anticipating the...
Right ON, Jess's Kid!
From a great Feministe thread on not forcing your kids to hug and kiss relatives: Jess 12.21.2011 at 3:30 pm I have always been a bit of a stickler about this. When relatives push for hugs I was very firm about it being up to my kids wether they gave out hugs or not. When my daughter was about three we were at a family gathering. One of my (now) exhusbands relatives (distant cousin ...
The First Installment of Matt Zoller Seitz's Best...
…contains two of my personal favourites: Justified’s “Reckoning,” and Louie’s “Airport/New Jersey.” By the way, if you haven’t read the Awl’s latest Louis CK love-in, you may have missed this perfect analysis of a common yearning directed towards said comedian: “The show makes me both want to fuck Louie and to rock him to sleep.” ...
My People, My People.
This sort of thing tickles me so much. Annie Laurie Gaylor, co-president of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, said the Santa Monica situation was “one of the cutest success stories of the season.” This year, the Wisconsin-based group has put up its own version of a manger in the Wisconsin State Capitol, with Einstein, Darwin and Emma Goldman standing as the wise men and a black female...
Don't You Die On Me, Prince Philip
I mean, he’s ninety, it’s bound to happen eventually. But he’s easily one of my top fifteen favourite members of the Royal Family.
I Mean, I Hesitantly Support The Return of Horse...
…although I would only ever consider humanely euth-ing and paying for disposal of my own horses, but: a) it costs a fortune to get someone to euth and take away your 1400lb animal in the dead of winter, which isn’t an option for a lot of struggling farmers/ranchers, and it’s actually illegal to bury a horse on your own property in many places, and… b) horses are...
Seriously, Ron Paul
I love how he ‘takes responsibility’ for the racist and homophobic nonsense in the (ahem) Ron Paul newsletter, but then is annoyed people keep asking him questions about it and criticizing the content. What, exactly, does he think ‘taking responsibility’ means?
WHY Do I Never Check That Email?
So, every six months or so I remember I have a lazy dot reviewer at gmail address, and then I have to spend three days WILDLY RESPONDING to lovely people who have written me. So, um, expect a response over the next three days! Unless you are my niece, in which case EXPECT A RESPONSE TODAY, LOVE YOU. xoxoxox Lazy
It's Time For More "Harvard Magazine" Personals!
Highlights from January-February 2012! Red flags: - “I’ve started to play duplicate bridge” - “Professional, loving Jewish-Italian family…with mature, beautiful and accomplished daughter age 21 seeks applicants for position of son-in-law. Must be at least 21, family and career oriented with great expectations. No political tests though occupants of Zuccotti Park...
If I Ever Write a Movie
I’m going to have a scene where the protagonist has a sudden coughing fit, horks a chunk of phlegm into a tissue, examines it, discovers there’s no huge clot of dark blood inside, tosses the tissue in a trash can, and goes back to living his or her life.